About my weight

Hi my name is Brenda and I'm a compulsive overeater. I am a cook at a drug and alcohol treatment center. My weight became a problem for me as a young adult. After I got married we moved to town were fast food was just down the street and my husband could not say no when I asked him to go to dq for ice cream. I did nothing about my weight until after I had 2 kids. I went to my first weight watchers meeting in April 2006. My youngest son was almost a year old. I did very well on ww in a year I had lost 69.8 lbs. It became very hard for my I stopped going to meetings gained a few lbs and then some one said "it’s ok to take a break." That was all I needed to hear. So here I am I have gained it all back and a little more. I have tried to re-join ww 3 times and just don’t have it in my heart to do it again. I'm so mad that I gained it all back and that I could not see what a good job I had done. All I could think about was that I had not lost more weight.

I remember when I first realized food was my problem. I was at work and we had a guy come in for treatment he was very over weight. He come to us and asked if we would just make him a salad for lunch and dinner and he would just have grapefruit for breakfast. He would walk every break and never complained. One day I was sitting outside as he was walking and I remember thinking how can this man have a drug or drinking problem but can just give up on food. FOOD is MY DRUG. I don’t know how much weight he lost but I will always remember him.

Most recently a good friend of mine had a baby boy that had a heart problem but they thought that after he had a surgery he would be fine. He only lived for 17 days. My heart is still broken for that family. I feel so selfish because god gave me a healthy heart and strong body and two wonderful boys and a loving husband and here I sit overweight unable to do the things in live I love. I have been an avid horse rider all my life and I still ride but it is so much harder with extra weight.

I have joined OA I have only shared a few times but I’m happy to be with people that understand me. I know that the weight will come off I have don’t it before and will do it again what I don’t know what I can do is keep it off. I feel OA will help he keep it off it will help me see why I over eat.